Sandy Hook

I have been neglecting to read, listen, or talk about the recent tragedy at Sandy Hook.

It was an ordinary day, in our ordinary town. Everyone was going about their business like nothing happened. We talked about it and thought about it, but honestly what can you do? The town this happened in is not much different than ours or yours if you think about it. Everyone goes about their business minding their own, never imagining that this could happen here or quite frankly there.  

The day it happened, I was at work and pulled up the internet for some much needed “non thinking time”. It was right after lunch and I yelled out OH MY GOSH did you see this, to the only other person in the lab. As we read the article quietly, more people started filtering into the lab. A ton of discussion started about this, I very quietly moved myself away from the conversation and started to work. I plopped myself in the back lab, by myself, and started my tasks for the weekend.

Finally after coming back to reality and realizing the world would not stop just because this happened, I went right back to work. There were not many laughs or conversation the rest of the day; it was honestly quiet and somber.  On my ride home that night as I listened to my first radio broadcast on Fox News I couldn’t help but think “Could you imagine if you got that call”

I first and foremost thought of my husband, then my sister, then my mother, and my friends and family who have little ones.

I thought about D and how would he handle this if he got the call. I thought about all our friends in the police department, and other men and woman in departments. Would it go something like this?

A call goes into 911, and of course like most they jump into action. Dispatch goes over the radio maybe saying “please hold all radio traffic, all emergency units .....”All emergency units freeze for only a split second until, like most people, in emergency situation, kick into action and respond.  But during that split second that they froze, their hearts fall to the ground and stomachs end up knotted, prayers go out for the children, teachers and fellow officers. “Please keep everyone safe god, please bring home everyone tonight every child, teacher, and officer.”

I thought about my sister and mother, what would they do if this happened in their schools. How would they stay safe and keep their students safe? Do they practice these drills here, in our ordinary town? In both my mothers and sisters case their students are teens to young adults, would one of their students try to overcome the gun man?  Would it go something like this?

Day starts, kids and teachers all doing their school work. Teachers get the call or maybe it goes over the PA system, Heck maybe nothing happens you just hear. Teachers and students freeze until instinct kicks in and the teachers throw their own class room into lock down maybe even a plan will be discussed if the gun man comes in. The classroom door is locked and teachers and students hide under their desks. But during the split second that they froze and while they hide under their desks, prayers go out “please God, keep us all safe, Give us the strength to get through this, please return us all to our families tonight.”

At this moment I stopped. I thought about my family and friends who have little ones and I was done. My brain turned to mush and I just stared at the road as I traveled home.  I could not even think about my family and friends with children and how it would go. I didn’t want to. I refused.

This tragedy makes me very sad and sick. I still swiftly change the channel when the news starts talking about it.

I pray that God gives each and every one of these people the strength to get through this. I pray that God gives the families that lost little ones and teachers strength and hope during this horrifying time.